Evolution of Dating Means Dealing with Change
Posted on April 15th, 2008 | by Igor Kotlyar |Recent social and technical developments point toward “virtual dating” becoming a significant part of our dating life.
Our approach to finding a life partner is changing, and as an industrial psychologist, I find it interesting to observe how people react to this change. Some embrace change and get excited about opportunities; others fear it and resist it.
To be sure, change is difficult. It can threaten our notions of ourselves and shake up our personal schema of the world. It’s hard to visualize the future and, for most of us, it’s much easier to see problems than opportunities. However, over time we accept change and embrace the “new way” as the status quo.
Consider this example. For the most of Western history, the concept of marrying for love was unimaginable. Marriages were generally economic arrangements, negotiated by the parents. Young people had little say with regards to whom they were matched with. There was little consideration for romantic love, and procreation and cooperation were the main marital duties (for their erotic needs, men often turned to prostitutes and concubines). Then came change …
Today, for most of us the concept of NOT marrying for love is unimaginable. We even believe that individuals are not fulfilled unless they find their true love. That’s quite a change, don’t you think!
By contrast, “virtual dating” is a small change in the evolution of dating. Still, some social commentators prophesize that virtual dating will leave us further alienated from each other. I personally place such predictions in the same bucket with other fun statements, such as “Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?” by H.M. Warner (Warner Brothers, 1927) and “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home” by Ken Olson (founder and pres of DEC, 1977).
In my view, virtual dating brings many good things (and, I suppose, like any other change, a few not-so-good things too). Primarily it offers the 20+ Million singles dating online an opportunity to discard their self-isolating silos in a form of their computer and move toward developing real-life relationships. Instead of pretending virtual dating does not exist, let’s shape this technology into a productive tool for helping singles find their true love … in the real world.
BTW, I am proud of the work the OmniDate team is doing in that regard!
3 Responses to “Evolution of Dating Means Dealing with Change”
By Robert Michel on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply
I just stopped by your blog and thought I would say hello. I like your site design. Looking forward to reading more down the road.
Robert Michel
By Cindy on Apr 27, 2008 | Reply
Was unaware of the history of dating. Guess I have lived a dark life…lol I did like the post very much and some of the advice will come in handy. thanks
By MMMomma on Aug 25, 2008 | Reply
I am the owner of Singles Canada, an online dating service which I founded back in 1998. Back then people were still weary of posting a dating profile, but times have changed. Now I would say 2 in 10 people that I speak to these days met their partner or knows someone who did meet someone through an online dating service. Glad to see new software out there that helps break the ice.